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Andrew Wilkinson guy that founded tiny billionaire he says most successful people are just a walking anxiety disorder harnessed for productivity and uh I think you know there's definitely outliers in there there's tons of people that uh have managed to find the correct balance between Hedonism between what they look for from everybody else how they feel about themselves the world's view of them their view of them uh but it's there's definitely a kind of irony in the most admired people often having the least mble internal States you know if you could just take a little holiday to their mental landscape as their head hits the pillow on an evening time and go holy no thank you I do not want that at all like there's a great interview Lex Freedman did with Elon Musk maybe last year and Elon sort of very solemnly looks Lex in the eyes and he says most people think that they would want to be me they don't want to be me they don't know they don't understand my mind is a storm you're like holy [ __ ] like this is the robot dancing on stage at Japan convention Tesla firing Rockets into space guy and meanwhile he sounds like he's having an existential crisis and you go well yeah because what is it that drives somebody internally and what do you see of them externally and it doesn't a lot of the time I don't think you would pay the price that you would need to to be the person that you admire yeah I mean there's that and also just money doesn't solve the problems like people don't people think that it does it actually perpetuates a lot of problems um how so because it exacerbates them it puts them on a larger scale more people are you know wanting something from you it's harder to determine you know people are there for the right reasons um you know you've got more staff you got more responsibility you've got more things pulling your energy now you've got you know four houses to you know manage you've got a jet you've got you know I mean I have like 22 staff members you know it's private life is just as complex as your person your professional life I mean managing staff is just like managing girls you know it's like eventually you just get to a point where like you don't want to manage all this [ __ ] like you don't you know and so then you hire somebody to manage that you know what I mean it's like it's Outsourcing Outsourcing Outsourcing but you're basically like running a company like I've got multiple chefs I've got you know the I've got you know house cleaners I've got a bunch of assistants I've got you know just all this staff right but then the staff has to manage the staff and it's a whole thing right and what is it all for just you don't have to make your bed and cook your food and whatever cuz like last week I just went up to Minnesota saw family had U my grandmother funer and then I went to Canada and we live basically like in the woods we we got a cabin up there but there's um you know we have to use propane and there's an ouse and and you know we have power only because the generator yeah it's it's a lot you know like it's basically like I'm cooking my own meals I was doing all my own [ __ ] and I just realized how how many things were done for me but at the same time like I didn't really need it you know like it was just kind of nice to be able to just be self-sufficient for 3 or 4 days my there's no cell res service so I never looked at my cell phone you know it's kind of nice like it was just good to unplug and just realized like I don't actually need all this [ __ ] we'll get back to talking to Dan in one minute but first I need to tell you about eight sleep I've been using my eight Sleep mattress for years and I absolutely love it I used to find myself waking up in the middle of the night feeling groggy in the morning and temperature was almost always to blame eight8 sleep's newest generation pod the Pod 4 ultra is here and it can cool down each side of the bed to 20° below room temperature and for those who snore 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a lot of things um and so it's it's just um it's one of those things where I think people want it for the wrong reasons and I think a lot of people that get it don't know how to use it um but it it's valuable I mean it allows you to you know travel the world when you want allows you to tell people [ __ ] you that that's the biggest thing honestly like that's the reason I always wanted money is just to tell people [ __ ] you and I it's it's always funny to me to see guys like the rock or whatever that's like still like punching the narrative still doing what he's told still you know like giving the speeches endorsing you know like just like who's your master like what the are you doing You got $400 million like what the is wrong with you like why are you answering to anybody like why is anybody influencing what you say like be your own person you have enough like when you get to a point where like you can't spend your money the idea of like being a slave to money is crazy to me I heard you say not long ago maybe within the last few years that you wanted to make a billion dollars and that that was this kind of you knew arbitrary sort of pointless number to get to is that still on the list is or is that something that you've been able to deprogram I've been able to deprogram it that was one of the things and I saw this in my life like I was sure that a million dollars was like enough like I needed a million dollars and then it was 5 million and then it was 10 million it was 50 and then it was 100 and it was like 500 you know it's always like a [ __ ] another number and it was never enough and it's never going to be enough and you know I just realized that I got happiness from like helping other people and doing things that I enjoyed doing so I need to focus on that it's actually pretty simple it's not like a real complex it's not I was going to say one of the themes here is definitely sort of simplifying rather than adding complexity lots of girls lots of complexity lots of Staff lots of complexity lots of money managing that obligations this party that I need to run or go to or whatever I've heard you say that you know most of the parties that you ran when you were in that phase in La you didn't really get any chance to enjoy yourself because you the guy on the door and making sure that everyone else having a good night you organizing this and organizing that despite presumably a [ __ ] ton of the staff or whatever that are there to help you um and increasingly you know it seems to me that the best ways that people who have money spend money is to actually simplify life rather than make it more complex but the natural sort of root of having money is more things and more people and more complexity MH yeah I think at the end of the day like you realize that you value peace you know just not headaches not stress not girls fighting not energy being pulled in a million directions um and so yeah I would say I prioritize peace more now than I did before I had like no peace before so I don't know man I'm not like an extremist I just go all the way this Direction all the way this direction and uh yeah doing this parties is a nightmare I mean there was like one point I I I distinctly remember one point when I actually enjoyed the party and it was maybe for 10 minutes but I was I was and I'll never forget it because it was like and I ended the book on it it was I was in a daybed and I had like 20 girls crawling all over me grabbing me and I was like you know mud had kicked in and I was happy and aleso and Carnage and Diplo were all [ __ ] DJing all at the same time and like it was like looked out there's nothing but hot chicks and a few celebrities and whatever and I just like I just realized at that moment like I had thrown like one of the best parties that's ever been thrown in the [ __ ] world like hands down I know it for a fact and there was like some sense of accomplishment there you know and uh but I realized like this was the top like you I couldn't do a better party there was 3,000 girls there's like 300 celebrities and it was just like there what you couldn't have done a better party there was like the best DJ and the best whatever all this [ __ ] circus performers and um yeah I that was like that was that was a mountain that I wanted to climb like I you have attempted to spin it up for one last time I mean there it is maybe one more like that's not but but like just to do it just like [ __ ] it why not but not because I feel any obligation to do it and I feel like I did it because of obligation before I mean it's it is fun to throw a good party because you know people have a good time and it's it's something that you know they remember but it is a pain in the ass man like it's you know to do it the way I wanted to do it I lost a lot of friends you know because like I wouldn't let guys come in there I wanted the ratio to be right like pissed off a lot of celebrities um but they were great you know the parties were awesome I mean for the people that were there so and that's what I want to do I always wanted to like go to a Playboy party and then I went to a Playboy party and it was cool and I [ __ ] a girl on The Grotto and I thought like man like I've done it and then I threw a party that was better than the Playboy party and I I was like okay now I've done it that's enough did you pivot to monogamy did how's that but I'm not but I'm not like some proponent that like you have to be monogamous I just found that it's just uh the Natural State like and and people want to always say like you know the only animals that are monogamous or gay ass dolphins and all this [ __ ] but like you know whatever it's like a natural thing in the animal kingdom for the alpha male all the chicks and like I get it you know like I argued that too and I did you know I [ __ ] a lot of chicks but I think that when you actually really like a girl and when she really likes you or you're in love or whatever it's not worth the pain that it causes her to other girls that's what I landed on so it wasn't so much and also didn't need it too like I didn't need to stick my dick in a bunch of girls like I've done that and I think that because I've done that it actually gives you a unique ability to be monogamous because I think if you're some dude from Wisconsin and you're married after sleeping with two chicks and some hot chick hits on you the rest of your life you're going be like damn like what would that have been like I want to what exactly like you know and I and I think it would almost be impossible not to be like that versus if you've had sex with a lot of girls you know what you like you know what you don't like you probably appreciate the girl that you landed on more so and um and you just won't have the wandering eye so I'm also a proponent of getting out there and you know hooking up with a decent amount of girls seeing what you like dating around figuring it out not putting pressure not getting married because Society tells you should get married I'm not saying I even agree in marriage but like a monogamous relationship I think is probably the goal is where you should you know want to end because I think that's where you'll be the happiest because you can focus on your [ __ ] you're not distracted um and it's pretty easy to keep one girl happy you know I did it with like a hundred so like one is one is peace one is very simple I remember one of my friends when I was back in the UK was s really hardcore into pickup Artistry and Keno escalation and when you know Neil stra in the game and mystery and all of that stuff was coming around I remember him saying over dinner one evening he said uh my future wife better appreciate all of this effort I'm putting in I'm like you're going to have to explain to me how you like plate spinning 15 WhatsApp checks at once is an investment in your future wife says well look when I'm walking down the street with my two and a half kids and the golden retriever and my wife I don't want to look at a Brazilian chick and think I wonder what it's like to [ __ ] a Brazilian chick so he's like really I'm doing this for my future wife and I'm like maybe some roundabout kind of but as you're saying here you know there are some lessons for some people like youi constitutions and so for one person it might be money for another person it might be Fame for another person it might be women for other people it might be all of them that you need to check boxes in order to close those Loops there's that and then I think also you get more confidence um and I think a lot of people cheat out of insecurity um and so I think by dating a bunch of women and by getting confidence and realizing that you know women are attracted and they like you this may not have been as true for you you know Mr GQ model growing up you probably didn't have trouble getting [ __ ] or whatever it's a very ugly oh you very ugly guy until I was about 19 so all right well anyways for I think for most guys there's probably you know because there's a lot of different attraction triggers there's the common ones that guys think about but there's a bunch of other ones that are actually really powerful and you know like pre-selection for instance like just having a bunch of girls around you that are interested in you will will absolutely unequivocally make hot girls want to [ __ ] you and I've seen it you know more so than good looks because I went on vacation with Bill you know here's a good-look guy worth $500 million funny smart like all the things that guys think that they need he went four days on a deserted island with 36 hot girls and didn't [ __ ] a single girl and not for a lack of trying he literally tried to every single girl there and they all said no okay so that was one of the things that like you know in deconstructing this course that I realized was like the things that guys think they need is not what they need because I've seen guys with every single and and it's not like he didn't get [ __ ] I mean I [ __ ] 10 girls with him at one time before that you know trip so like it's not like he wasn't confident he was D1 football player the guy gut girls so he had all the things confidence experience whatever the guys you know set up being on a deserted island with 36 girls that can only him I mean I think the security guard got laid but anyway the point is he was doing the most common thing that guys do which is he was overc communicating interest to women and what he did is he just overcommunication interest and he hit on women in the traditional sense that guys think is correct to get girls he hit on them gave them compliments whatever but he blew himself out with every girl because he overcommunication interest and what I told him in the fourth day was like dude you need to just chill the out like stop overc commmun interest stop acting you know you know wreaking of desperation stop acting like if you don't get laid you're going to die you know and on the fourth day sure enough he chilled the out he [ __ ] four girls you know and like met his wife had a few threesim like everything was good and you know and it was just a small shift and so that's what I've seen is like you know small shifts can have a big impact on the outcome and I just think a lot of people are just doing the wrong thing what is your opinion on Modern advice for men we're talking about crisis of masculinity men struggling with their role in the world whether it's financially professionally existentially with women what do you make of the current landscape of advice for men I think it a [ __ ] disaster like an unequivocal disaster the current landscape is atrocious which is why I spent the last two years doing this and like I talked to you about this about a year ago I actually didn't even know the [ __ ] you were I was like you know sharp guys at Bill's house probably good dude whatever and like you know we wrapped about this and then you know and then I found out that you know you were famous too and you had a podcast and all this stuff and you know and you knew about this stuff and you're interested but like at the time we talked it was just like you know two guys chopping it up about this and like you got it like I I saw that like you understood the problem I don't know I just like I I look out and I just see them getting the wrong advice doing the wrong things having bad results and then the problem is they're quitting like that's the biggest problem is not that they're not getting [ __ ] but that they're quitting and I think the problem today is that guys have maps of the wrong directions and Before 40 50 years ago even when we were kids like we didn't really have directions you know like we saw some [ __ ] in the movies right we had some good stuff like what James Bond did and then we had the bad stuff the romcoms but like we didn't really have like the bad directions that we have today and this attack on masculinity and all this stuff which is like just a recipe for horrendous results and also coupled by the fact that women because of social media now think they deserve like this crazy guy that that maybe they could [ __ ] but that's not going to date them seriously and then they have experiences with those type of guys you know which exacerbates the problem and then they end up marrying some guy that's worth $100 million it's just like happy because they're hot and doesn't realize that they've like [ __ ] half the you know NFL football team and whatever you know and then the girl doesn't really respect that guy because she you know has all these other previous guys to compare him to plus the fact that she doesn't really think of herself as being like you know that high value because she hasn't been able to date any of the guys that she actually really wanted right so it's like creates this landscape of unhappiness on both sides for men expectations cynicism yeah there's a big trend of cynicism around dating advice for guys and I think as you said a lot of them are checking out how cynical or hopeful do you think guys should be when it comes to the dating Market I mean if they do the right things There's Hope for everybody I mean look I I was not a guy that was supposed to get hardly any [ __ ] and I didn't like in high school like I lost my virginity to a Mexican hooker you know like and then we went a couple years after that you know we finally figured it out like and had sex again but like not much you know and then the military I like did terrible I would like go up to every girl with the typical like oh I think you're beautiful you know can I buy you a drink line and obviously that's going to do terrible because that's like just setting yourself up for failure overc communicating interest it puts the girl in a position of like I can have this guy you know do I want him and when you look at something like that it's like all the flaws magnify it's like when somebody tries to sell you something they pitch you really hard you automatically look at all the reasons why you potentially shouldn't buy this right well it's no different in dating so when a guy comes up and like lays it on real thick and it's just like oh I'm just gonna be honest I'm just going to tell her how I feel and like all this [ __ ] and like you know and it just runs her right the off because she doesn't respond to that because in her you know past experience all those guys that have come up are usually like the needy guys and whatever and so I had the wrong approach and I got shitty results and then you know in college I kind of started to figure it out because the ratio was better and my Approach was different and so when I started like you know not overcommunication interest and we had these situations where women would come talk to us like I had a glimpse of like okay I'm the same guy here I'm the same guy here but I'm getting way better results here why and that was like the first time and I read the game and so I got a little bit of an Insight on it and I I would say the game was kind of like similar to like our poker theory in the beginning it's like it's an idea some of it's right you know but some of it's really wrong too and I I don't think that you know people are even close to figuring out what is like actually effective I I did a pretty good job like I laid out like a good framework of like the common mistakes that guys are making what you can do you know correctly you know hacks like you know just mindset shifts like traveling should be about the journey not the chaos of packing which is why I'm in love with nomatic backpacks and their carry-ons I'm on the road I'm here in Vegas then I'm going to La then back to Vegas then to a wedding in Italy and I'm doing it all on hand luggage hold luggage is a scop meant to keep you poor and late you don't need it and this thing is the Swiss army knife of travel packs they've got pockets for your laptop your clothes your snacks it is so organized even your toothbrush will feel important it's like the Marie condo of luggage they ship internationally and they offer free shipping on orders over $49 in the United States plus if you don't love your purchase for any reason you can return or exchange it within 30 days so you can buy it fill it with your possessions for 29 days and if you don't like it they'll give you your money back right now you can get a 20% discount off everything sitewide by going to the link in the description below or heading to nomatic tocom wisdom using the code mw20 a checkout that's Nom matic.com mwisd and mw20 a checkout break it down for me you know what are the common assumptions the biggest ones that are holding guys back when it comes to attracting women and what are the reframes or the best strategies that you've deconstructed from yourself okay so the most common problems I would say would be some mindsets like you know limiting um limiting beliefs a big one like thinking like oh I'm not tall so women aren't going to be attracted to me or I'm not rich so I can't get women or you know like all these reasons why they're not attracted do those things not matter no they don't matter at all like at all like the things that actually can make a woman pursue you or chase you or be interested in you like you know Bill's a perfect example he had all the things not one not two not three he had every single thing that guys think that they need to get women and plus a desert island desert island with 36 girls like you couldn't get a better scenario so like that is literal proof that like all these things you know still didn't get light exactly that's not going to solve your problem because here's a guy that had all those things and he still didn't do it right and I and I have another sample of a bunch of guys in my fraternity that were short that didn't have money that weren't that smart all this stuff and they got a ton of [ __ ] so like I I just know that it's not the traditional things that guys think that they need that that's a part of it but I think like like I said when I kind of like deconstructed it the biggest Epiphany that I had was the difference of when you are chasing a woman or you're pursuing a woman versus when she's pursuing you and like the flaw is disappearing on both sides when a woman's chasing you your flaws disappear her flaws magnify just like when the you know when the really you know stage five Clinger girl hits you up all the time it's like you're not interested in her maybe she can suck your dick on a Friday night if you strike out at 3:00 am. right but like you know the same thing's true for women is like when these guys massively overcommunication interests they know they can have them and then it's like a conversation of do they want them and when you're looking at flaws you're going to find them like you've got flaws I've got flaws like everybody has flaws right so when you're looking for Flaws you know they stand out but when you're pursuing something you know like think an auction you know like five guys want something five guys are bidding for something and like you really want it and you have this like you know idea in your mind of like when you wanted something you didn't get it in the sphere of loss you're not thinking about what's wrong with it you're just how do I get it right just like you know and this is probably the most common mate guys make is they're like this girl's hot how do I [ __ ] her you know that's the thought process like oh my God she's so beautiful like I would marry that girl how many times you heard a guy say like oh my God she's so hot I would marry her it's like what if she has AIDS what if she's pathological liar what she's like 95,000 guys what if she's just like a you know a Serial cheater like you know what if this girl has massive problems what if she bipolar what if she's got a massive alcohol Problem whatever right like dig a little bit deeper like be Discerning you know like go into the interaction like wanting to find out more about the girl not just accepting her looks as being enough and I think that's the biggest problem that guys make is that they just like the looks are enough and then then the conversation is like how do I get her to like me so you're already going in there with a handicap you know like when a Salesman comes in like he's already coming in from a handicap versus like when somebody goes into the store because they need milk they just go to the aisle they find the milk and they buy it versus if you show up at the door and you try and sell them milk they be like oh who is this guy is the milk old can I trust this you know what I mean like the difference like when you want something it's just like how do I get it it's not you know the same conversation and so that would be the biggest thing and I and I and I figured that out because I had big sample size of girls that wanted to [ __ ] me that I screwed it up with and a big sample size of girls that wanted to [ __ ] me that I also had sex with and I think that's like look in a in a experiment you have to have the control group right most guys do not have the control group like I literally had girls sending me butt naked photos on Instagram I want to you and I screwed it up with those girls so I'm just saying like only in like cross-comparing what worked and what didn't work with two sample sizes of girls that both wanted to sleep with me could have fig out you're the same guy to both of them exactly cuz like you know there's girls that just like wouldn't want to sleep me because I'm Armenian or I have a shitty haircut or whatever right like there's going to be girls that just like wouldn't [ __ ] me period so because I had that sample that I knew that they wan