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The Psychological Difference Between Anger and Disappointment
This segment introduces the concept of emotional education and then provides a clear psychological distinction between anger and disappointment, offering practical examples of emotional vocabulary and its importance for self-awareness.
The PRIME Goals of Emotional Regulation: Prevent, Reduce, Initiate, Maintain, Enhance
This clip offers a comprehensive and actionable definition of emotional regulation by outlining its five key goals using the PRIME acronym. It provides practical examples, like preventing anxiety before a test or initiating a specific emotional climate in a meeting, making the concept tangible and applicable.
The Hidden Cost of Emotional Suppression
Dr. Marc Brackett explains how unexpressed emotions don't disappear but accumulate like a debt, manifesting as maladaptive strategies, relationship issues, physical ailments, and mental health disorders. He emphasizes that humans are born to feel, and these emotions will find a way out if not expressed healthfully.
Transform Envy into a Learning Opportunity
Dr. Marc Brackett explains how to 'alchemize' envy by distinguishing if it leads to admiration or resentment. He uses his own example of envying skilled speakers to learn and aspire, reframing it as a growth opportunity. He also emphasizes the role of gratitude, particularly for privileged students, to combat the envy spiral, as it's not an automatic response for many.
You're Not Born That Way: Cultivate a Growth Mindset for Emotions
Dr. Marc Brackett emphasizes that a crucial part of emotional regulation is developing a 'growth mindset' about your ability to regulate emotions. He contrasts this with his father's fixed mindset ('this is the way I deal with my anger'), asserting that everyone can learn to regulate their emotions better, as it's not an innate trait.
The Surprising Link Between Physical Health and Emotional Control
Dr. Brackett explains that sleep, nutrition, and physical activity are directly correlated with effective emotional regulation. He warns that neglecting these can lead to a 'shorter fuse' and difficulty managing emotions, especially in stressful situations like parenting.
Do You Need to Regulate Every Emotion? When to Let It Go
Dr. Brackett clarifies that not every feeling requires active regulation, as many are ephemeral. He advises that emotional regulation is truly necessary only when an emotion threatens to interfere with relationships, learning, decisions, or performance, offering a practical guideline for managing emotional responses.
The Link Between Gaslighting, Shame, and Sensitivity
Dr. Marc Brackett explains how gaslighting creates a false reality that leads to shame, often manifesting as being told one is "too sensitive." This clip provides a clear definition and example of gaslighting in the context of emotions.
How to Reshape Your Emotional Habits: The First Steps
Dr. Marc Brackett outlines the initial steps for anyone looking to change unhealthy emotional patterns: acknowledge the problem, build knowledge by learning strategies, and then practice them consistently. This clip provides a clear, actionable roadmap for emotional growth.
Stop Calling Everything 'Anxiety': The Difference Between Anxiety, Stress & Pressure
Dr. Marc Brackett challenges the common perception that 'everyone is anxious,' explaining that many people confuse anxiety with stress or pressure. He and the host then precisely define each term: anxiety as uncertainty about the future, stress as too many demands with insufficient resources, and pressure as having something at stake dependent on your action.
How Neuroticism Can Be an Advantage for Emotional Growth
Dr. Marc Brackett shares his personal experience with high neuroticism and explains how, surprisingly, it's uncorrelated with emotional intelligence. He argues that having a more volatile emotional state provides more opportunities to practice and master emotional regulation skills.
Beyond the Neck: Why You Need Both Body & Mind to Feel Emotions & The 'How We Feel' App
Dr. Brackett explains that emotions are a product of both body and mind, and relying solely on bodily sensations can be misleading (e.g., confusing tiredness for anxiety). He introduces his free app, 'How We Feel,' which combines cognitive labeling (the Mood Meter with 144 words) with bodily awareness to help users track and understand their feelings, acting as a 'training ground' for emotional awareness to prevent projecting feelings onto others.
Why Naming Your Emotions Precisely Changes Everything: Tailored Strategies
Dr. Marc Brackett explains the practical benefit of accurately identifying emotions like anxiety, stress, and pressure: it allows for tailored, effective coping strategies. He provides specific actions for each: rethinking for anxiety, seeking help/reducing demands for stress, and communicating with others for pressure, highlighting how precise language leads to targeted solutions.
Self-Compassion: Your Inner Strength Against Overwhelming Feelings
Dr. Marc Brackett discusses the importance of self-compassion, not in a 'fluffy way,' but as a practical cognitive tool. He advocates for telling yourself you're strong, you can get through this, and that intense feelings of terror are impermanent, like rainy days that will eventually give way to sunny ones, fostering a more positive outlook.
The 3 Core Traits People Seek in Others (It's Not Smart)
Dr. Marc Brackett shares his cross-cultural research from 25,000 people, revealing that 'smart' is rarely a desired trait in supportive relationships. Instead, people universally seek non-judgmental individuals, good listeners, and those who show empathy and compassion.
Only 2% Had a Non-Judgmental Dad: The Reality of Childhood Support
Dr. Brackett's research reveals a striking statistic: only about a third of people experienced a childhood where someone created conditions for them to be their true self. Of those, only 2% identified their father as that non-judgmental, supportive figure, sparking a discussion on generational shifts in male parenting.
Why You Can't Be "Too Sensitive"
Dr. Marc Brackett challenges the common belief that one can be "too sensitive," arguing instead that it's about emotional regulation and self-compassion, not an inherent flaw. This clip offers a powerful reframe for those who identify as sensitive.
From Psychologist to Weightlifter: How Identity Drives Emotional Mastery
Dr. Brackett shares a personal anecdote about transforming his fitness by adopting the identity of a weightlifter, overcoming initial negative self-talk. He proposes applying this powerful identity-based approach to mastering emotional regulation, imagining a society where people identify as 'masters at managing emotions'.
Emotion Regulation: The New Definition of Success?
This segment presents a compelling and somewhat controversial argument that true success lies in emotional regulation, not just material achievements. It challenges traditional views of success and uses a powerful anecdote about interviewing employees to illustrate the real-world impact of a leader's emotional intelligence.
Stop Saying 'I Am Anxious': The Power of Emotional Fluidity
The hosts discuss the critical difference between identifying 'as' an emotion ('I am anxious') versus simply 'feeling' an emotion ('I am feeling anxiety'). They highlight that adopting emotional fluidity and the bravery to feel, rather than suppress, prevents self-fulfilling prophecies and leads to better emotional health.
Why Emotional Suppression is a Harmful Illusion of Strength
This moment debunks the common myth that emotional suppression is a strength, revealing it as an easier, yet detrimental, avoidance strategy. It highlights the negative consequences of suppressionālike shame, regret, and poor relationshipsāand implicitly advocates for healthier emotional engagement.
The Real Emotion Behind 'Stress' in Teenagers: Envy & Gratitude
Dr. Marc Brackett shares his research with high schoolers who all claimed to be stressed, but his findings revealed their primary emotion was actually envy, stemming from constant social comparison. He advises shifting from this paralyzing 'envy spiral' to gratitude by consciously looking at things from a new lens.
The Language of Emotion: Understanding Feelings, Moods, and Dispositions
Dr. Brackett provides a clear, granular explanation of the distinct definitions for 'feelings,' 'emotions,' 'moods,' 'dispositions,' and 'mental illnesses.' He clarifies that an emotion is an automatic, life-rooted response, while a feeling is a private subjective experience, and moods are longer, less intense states.
Growing Up Without Emotional Intelligence Role Models
Dr. Marc Brackett shares his personal story of growing up with a 'tough guy' father and an anxious mother, leading him to become an 'anxious, angry person' who didn't know how to deal with his feelings until he pursued psychology. This highlights the generational impact of lacking emotional education.
Even Emotional Intelligence Experts Have Meltdowns
Dr. Marc Brackett recounts a humorous and relatable story of being an emotional intelligence expert, hitting rock bottom during the pandemic while trapped with his mother-in-law for 7 months. This personal crisis led him to realize the need to 'practice what you preach' and subsequently write his new book, 'Dealing with Feeling,' as a practical guide to emotion regulation.
Overcoming Shame to Embrace Being a Highly Sensitive Person
Chris Williamson shares a deeply personal and vulnerable story about realizing he is a highly sensitive person, his initial embarrassment from a blue-collar upbringing, and his transformative experience at a retreat where he learned to embrace and be proud of his sensitivity as a strength.